I later found out from a nurse he was in "pretty bad shape." All they would tell me was respitory distress. I missed the chance to do all of the things that I wanted to with my little guy when he was first born. The things they say help bonding. No skin to skin, no attempting to nurse right away, no waiting until the cord stopped pulsing, and I was even scared to give him his name. When he was taken away he was just Infant Male Knoke. We didn't name him until the next day. We thought we knew what we wanted but we wanted to get to know him first to make sure his name fit. We ended up changing his middle name we had wanted Connor Alexander, we ended up going with Connor Ezekiel. Ezekiel means "God Strengthens" and that's what we wanted, a strong little man who could come home to us. When we were finally able to visit over an hour later, he was hooked up to all kinds of tubes.
Having him there was so hard, I don't know how people can do it for months. I don't think I could have stood it for much longer than I did. They tell you to rest while you can, it's good advice. All I can really say is I am glad they took such good care of him and I am so happy to have him home.
EVERYTHING IS OFF!