Done.

 

So, we’re done having kids. Before James and I were married, we agreed on one. I stupidly secretly hoped that he would see how amazing being a dad is and change his mind. No such luck. He went and had the babymaker fixed so we wouldn’t have any surprises. I’m kind of sad about it.

 

So I’m trying to figure out what to do with an only child. There are so many things that I did with my big brother, I had someone to look up to and I always had someone there for me. When I was scared or had troubles, I had my brother. Connor won’t have anyone. When I die, he will be by himself without a brother or a sister for support. He will be alone. I guess my brothers will need to have lots of babies, so he has support.

 

The other thing is that there are a lot of only children that I see that are pretty much spoiled little brats. They are the only person that their parent has to cater to so they get what they want when they want it. I want him to have everything that he wants in the world, I know there is a way to do it, but I wonder if I have that in me…

 

Really though, I just worry that he will be lonely. I don’t know what it is like to be an only child, I don’t want him to ever feel alone. I think it’s good that I have such a big loving supportive family. I am going to make sure that he knows all of his family and extended family so that he will know that he never has to be alone.

 

I just want him to be happy.

Half.

Last week I got a little upset when we went to the restaurant and the waitress asked if we needed a table for four and a half. I know this is really common and they do it because he’s little and they think he is cute. However the way she said it I think is what set me off. I was just thinking, he is not half a person he may be small, but he’s all here. King Solomon did not come along and have us cut him in half so we could share better. It don’t know why it bothered me, but it did.

Cut to today. I have called my baby half, at least half a dozen times. ‘Guess what baby, you’re half today!” So my little guy is 6 months, and I’ve been calling him half. I think part of it is because when little kids get their half they are very excited about it. Since he has no idea that he should be excited, I am excited for him. What he does know is that he thinks he’s a big boy who doesn’t need a nap today.

While I am excited for him, I am kind of melancholy about it. It feels like time is going so quickly. He’s going to be our only baby and I want it to last as long as possible. There is so much going on in life and I want to treasure every moment.

I’m Bad.

 

I was thinking about it, and I am a judgmental person. I can’t help it. I am one of those people who thinks poorly of other people. I try so hard to be open minded and I fail. It’s mostly about parenting though. I see a mother who chooses to give her child formula, and I think she should have tried harder. Let me clarify I am not talking about mothers who can not breastfeed due to medications, or supply issues. Just the mom’s who don’t want to because it’s “icky,” “too hard,” or just plain don’t want to. I don’t understand why they would not want to give their best effort to provide the best for their child. It drives me crazy. The strange thing is, I feel bad for feeling this way, but I can’t stop myself! I try so hard to be open minded but I just can’t on this topic. I just think why why why would you want to bring an amazing, precious and probably adorable little baby into this world and start out with second best? It just doesn’t make any sense to me!

Breastfeeding did not come easy for us, but we powered through and we have now been going almost 6 months with another 6 months minimum to come! Why? Because I want my son to always have the best. Even if it is hard for me to accomplish. My world isn’t about me anymore he comes first.

Another thing I judge parents on is the way they talk to their kids. I was at the park and there was a kid running around and playing, generally being a kid. His mom was sitting down and relaxing and the kid wanted to run around- I am pretty sure this is what kids are supposed to do at a park. He wasn’t being disruptive or anything; however his mom kept yelling at him. She wanted him to just sit there next to her. He wasn’t in trouble, they showed up after we did, she wanted to rest from their walk and he just wanted to play. It’s not just that his mom wanted him to sit down it was how she said it. She used bad language, and she yelled. She didn’t even start with asking nice or saying please. It wasn’t “J please sit down until I tell you it’s okay to go.” It was “J sit your ass down I didn’t tell you that you could get out of the stroller!” Seriously this kid was one, and the language just got worse from there. I wanted to say something to her but I bit my tongue. I just don’t get it.

 

The other thing that is kind of weird and I don’t know why I feel this way is taking your kid out in a diaper. Nothing but a diaper. It looks kind of trashy. Put a shirt on your kid at least! The sun is bad for your child’s skin, help protect it. Don’t be lame. I also have a problem with fat hairy shirtless men, but that doesn’t have anything to do with parenting. I guess I just think that unless you’re at a pool or in the privacy of your own home, doing yard work, or at the beach you should cover up. I guess I’m prude that way. But seriously and back on topic, dress your kids. Don’t be lazy, In private, let your kid walk around naked for all I care, but when you take your kid outside, at least give some appropriate cover from the elements.

 

Ok so that is it. I am judgey and I feel bad for it. Some things I just can’t make myself being open minded about. I suck.

 

Technorati Tags: baby,mothering,breastfeeding,infant,clothing

Birth.

 

I have been thinking a lot about my birthing experience. I wanted a “natural” birth. I ended up needing drugs. It was for my little man, I would have done anything they told me I needed. I am a pretty flexible person, I figured I could roll with the punches, and I did. However, at the end I was a little disappointed. I felt like I didn’t get what I wanted. I didn’t get my “natural” birth.

The more that I think about it, I did have the birth experience that I wanted. I have a happy healthy son. How can I really ask for more than anything than that? What is more natural than doing what is the best for your baby? I can’t think of a thing.

I don’t think there was ever any reason for me to feel bad, or be upset about what happened. I did the natural thing – what was best for my baby. What I really wanted was for him to be here. Where I could hold him and love him, and let him know that he is the most amazing person in the world. I can do that. I do that every day. So to all of the mom’s out there that are worried about a birthing experience, scared about how things will be, relax. Take it as it comes, have an idea but be open to change, because it happens. Just remember, at the end you will have a baby and that is all that really matters.

PS Connor is in a Gerber contest if anyone stumbles across this, vote please!

http://apps.facebook.com/gerbe​rphotosearch/entry/179468/conn​or-.aspx

 

Free stuff:

http://www.facebook.com/mommyscrazy4coupons

She is giving away 5 coupon binders. Enter to win yours.

Technorati Tags: baby,mom,birth,natural birth,children,family,freebies

Fireworks and smelly stuff.

 

Independence day was awesome. I think my son has magical anti mosquito powers. We went to the park to watch the fireworks, and he tore off his mosquito net and wanted to be held. No bites while mommy and daddy who were covered in bug spray were getting eaten alive. I don’t know how this happened, magic powers are the only reasonable explanation.

 

He loved the fireworks though. They went off and he was just staring, then he started talking all about them. It was adorable. His eyes were huge, and his whole face just lit up. It was kind of amazing. I hope next year is just as good. I want him to love things like this.

 

Free stuff time! http://www.facebook.com/pages/OMG-Scents-Independent-Scentsy-Consultant/126816330684550

This is my Scentsy consultant. She has a few different giveaways on her page, so go join. There is a plug in giveaway, a $40 shopping spree, and a photo contest. (Sexy soldiers) So go over join in, and have a little fun!

Eep!

It has been crazy around here. Connor is 21 weeks, and I as a first time mom freak out – a lot. (Do repeat moms do this?) He is fake coughing (it’s easy to tell and pretty cute,) and laughing and talking a lot more than he had previously. However he is also wanted a little more attention that usual. Not that I ignore my kid, but previously he would want to go in his swing or bouncy seat and this week he just wants to be by Mama and Daddy just won’t do. This makes it especially hard since I have finals for two of my classes this week which means that I have three papers to write. What fun. I thought I would enjoy my humanities class. It is about media and culture, but it stinks. I don’t find it useful and I am not sure it is relevant. I really do not feel like I have learned anything in that class. It is sad, and a waste of money. It would have been nice if I had been given the option of choosing my electives. Alas that is not the way it was meant to be. Next week I start up a psychology class and another humanities class this time it’s critical and creative thinking. Hopefully it will be better. Here is the class description: “This course focuses on developing the critical and creative thinking skills necessary to analyze and solve problems, make decisions, implement strategies, and formulate well supported points of view on key academic, social, and professional issues. The principles of creative thinking are essential to critical thinking skills. Students will learn how to evaluate their ideas and how to communicate their points of view persuasively.” After reading it it sounds lame, but here’s hoping.On the bright side, it looks like I get rid of a lot of the students I have been in class with that seem to get on my nerves. Call me mean, but it really ruffles my feathers when an adult in college can not get the difference between to and too, and can never capitalize the letter I. I know my grammar isn’t perfect, but at least I have the basics down.

 

So enough complaining. I want to tell you about something very very nice. I was goofing off on facebook instead of writing my papers and I came across this on the Generations of Savings facebook page. http://generationsofsavings.blogspot.com/2011/06/ky-intimacy-experiment-giveaway.html?spref=fb They are giving away a KY intimacy kit. This sounds so amazing. Seriously. I think it’s about time we get things back to steamy in our bedroom. C is almost big enough to sleep in his own room. (He’s only got a couple inches of space in his bassinet and he keeps wiggling his way down to the bottom so that his but is touching the bottom and his feet are in the air; plus call me selfish and cruel, but Mommy want some grown up time.) Now this giveaway is only open to bloggers so I barely count, but if you blog you should enter. Oh and for the freebie of the day we have….. oh yeah that was it. It is really slow on the freebie front this weekend. I will make up for it next time with more posts. Oh! I almost forgot! There is another contest on over at OMG Scentsy. You can find out all of the details here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/OMG-Scents-Independent-Scentsy-Consultant/126816330684550 on her facebook page. She is the best rep ever.

Technorati Tags: freebies,mom,new mom,ky,scentsy,sex,babies,baby,infant,school,facebook,contests