Some people find being a mother as something that comes naturally. Which for me, it pretty much is. Until it comes time to make decisions. Then I freak out. Vaccines or no vaccines or maybe the delayed schedule. Magazines say that there should be no TV until he’s 2 does that mean I shouldn’t watch TV with him in the room? Is it okay to use disposable diapers sometimes or does it always have to be cloth? Should I teach him to read early or does that really affect the learning process like they say? What about baby sign language? Early potty training or let him tell me when he’s ready?
Making decisions for me is easy, but now I have this whole other person to think about. Screwing up my life is one thing, but he is his own little person. I don’t want to ruin his life. So I have to decide stay at home, or daycare? Part time work or full time, work at home? I don’t think I can make this work on just my husbands salary. I need to bring home money too. I have to “man up” and make these decisions. I have to trust that my natural mommy instincts kick in and I manage to do things right. Trust in my self and pray. I have the support of a wonderful husband, a close family, and some great friends that support me and will probably tell me if they think I am doing something stupid. So at least there’s that.
In the meantime, I am going to try a work at home business. It’s called The Feisty Monkey. I am going to make jewelry and purses. At least to start. I have ideas to grow. I hope it takes off, this will give me the ability to stay at home with my little guy so I don’t have to worry about some of the things that go on when I can’t be around. Wish me luck. I hope this journey doesn’t make me too crazy.